Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants.
"I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from
between your tits" he says.
"You dirty bastard!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my
The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe.
The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.
"I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the
cheeks of your arse and lick it all off."
She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!"
Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do it again.
"One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now - what do you want?"
"I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers off and fill
your pussy with Guinness, and then drink every last drop from the
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs
upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the
"What's up love?" he asks.
"There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my
tits and lick the sweat off", she says.
"I'll kill him. Where is he?" storms the Husband.
"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse
cheeks and lick it off" she screams.
"Right. He's dead!" says the husband, reaching for a cricket bat.
"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my fanny
with Guinness and then drink it all" she cries!
The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and
switches the telly back on.
"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries
"Look love, I'm not messing with any bloke who can drink 15 pints