Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin? A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.